


Pale Gold and Chestnut

by kate7h



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Childhood Trauma, F/M, Gen, Head Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Married Couple, Mother-Son Relationship, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 00:16:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2208438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate7h/pseuds/kate7h
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'“Dammit,” He growled, his voice low and menacing. “You can’t do this. You can’t take her! You’ve already taken too much, you bastard! JUST GIVE HER BACK TO ME!”' In returning home from Central, Winry is not waiting for Edward the way he expects. Post-manga.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Edward walked up the dirt road to the small, two-story house he called home. Being a grown up married couple, he and Winry had gotten a place of their own. (Partly to not be a constant burden to Granny, partly because privacy was very nice thing to have). Ed was quite proud of it, as he should be for the amount of work he'd put into it. The walls outside were painted a pale blue, a red brick archway stood above the white door. He would've put some gargoyles or something on top, but Winry had won that argument.

He walked along the path which led to the wooden steps, green weeds pushed up through the cracks. Ed sighed, knowing he'd probably be told to pull them the second he set his suitcase down.

Winry still worked at Rockbell Automail in Granny's house, which wasn't very far at all. It was about a twenty minute walk, nothing compared to his commute to the market in Central. And he was on bike there!

His life in Central was pretty exciting, but it left him pretty homesick. Still, after traveling and learning so much from the west, and Alphonse from the east, Edward had found (and created) a way to share that information to the masses. He was a professor at Central University, and he couldn't have asked for a more fulfilling job. He was likely the youngest professor to ever teach there, still being in his twenties. A good amount of his students were older than him.

The board creaked dramatically as Edward stepped the weight of his left leg onto it, making his way towards the closed door. The sun was setting in the west, casting shadows across the front of the house. Ed smiled to himself before opening the door to his home.

"Hey Win, I'm home!," He shouted, dropping his suitcase on the ground.

As much as he loved being a teacher in Central, he missed his home and his wife. During the semesters, he'd live in the city for the weeks of classes, then return to Resembool on the weekends. He and Winry were both doing the professions they loved, but the separation was starting to get to him.

It's not like it's the longest he'd been away from her. There had been times in his time as a state alchemist and his travels afterwards when he'd been gone for months-even years- at a time. But there wasn't some abstract goal he was chasing after. There was a routine in place, and it didn't seem like it was going to change any time soon. He didn't want to be away like that for the rest of their lives. What would happen when they decided to have children? Would they hate him for being gone so much? Would he completely miss them growing up? Edward didn't want to be absent like his own father had been.

Ed stomped a little too hard into the floorboard as he thought of him. He knew Hohemheim's reasons, and they had been pretty good ones at that. But Ed still felt that bitterness which had grown towards that old man since childhood. Leaving his family to save the world was acceptable, or slightly less than. But even after all that was through and done, he didn't even bother to visit his sons in the hospital. Hohenheim could've stayed and at least tried to make amends. But no, he just died. He'd left without a word and died.

'Rotten father', Ed thought, shoving away the pressure behind his eyes.

Edward sighed and looked around for a moment, "Winry?"

It was really quiet, the rooms holding a vacant feel to them. The red light from the sunset bounced off the walls and shiny floor as it streamed through the front windows. Maybe she went out? Ed scratched the back of his neck, 'She knew I was coming home tonight.'

He shrugged, making his way to the small pantry room. He was starving after the train ride home, and since she wasn't there he didn't have to wait for dinner.

Turning the corner through the kitchen, Edward noticed the light was switched on. Which was strange. Electricity had come to their homes when they were very young, and turning them off when not in use had been driven into them by their parents and Granny. Winry wouldn't forget and leave it on. Ed stepped into the closet pantry, and it felt like time had slowed to a stop.

Before him, Winry lie on the stone ground. Her arms were limp around her turned away face. The floor was littered with bruised apples, fallen from the shelf they belonged on.

Edward couldn't breathe, his lungs blocked by the panic. He was frozen in place as he stared down at her in horror. The apples seemed to morph, turning into tomatoes smashed on the ground. In the silence he could hear his own childlike voice, screaming for his mother over and over. The chestnut hue to her hair turned ashy against the grey stone. Sickness stealing her away from him and Alphonse.

"Mom…?" Ed whispered. His voice sounded weak, but older. Matured along with his age. It shattered the memory which invaded his reality. Paralyzed, he stared at the fallen woman before him. The room was yellow with the electrical light. The apples were still strewn about. Her pale, gold hair draped across her arms to the stone ground. On her finger, the wedding band he'd bought shone dully in the tight room. She was obviously not his mother.

"WINRY!" Edward dove to the ground, pulling his wife into his arms as her head lolled back and forth with his movements.

"What happened? What happened?" Ed shook her slightly, getting no reaction from her limp body. "No, no, no, Winry!"

Panic flooded through him as he hugged her to his chest, burying his face in her neck, This can't happen. IT CAN'T!

"Dammit," He growled, his voice low and menacing. "You can't do this. You can't take her! You've already taken too much, you bastard! JUST GIVE HER BACK TO ME!"

His shout echoed through the empty house until the silence settled over him again, buzzing through his skull. Ed breathed in deeply, the scent of her hair filling his senses. He could feel himself trembling, though it was warm in the house. Especially with Winry's body pressed against him.

Warm?

Edward pulled back, looking over her. There was color in her face, heat in her skin. Stuck in his panic-inducing childhood memories, he'd stopped thinking rationally. Without hesitation, Ed pressed his ear to her chest. It rose and fell against him with her every breath. Her heart pounded soundly, pulsating relief through his whole being. He sighed as he remained for a few beats, letting her life signs calm him enough to think.

Why is she unconscious?

Ed eased her down, examining her for any sort of evidence. Her eyes were closed, mouth slackened. A strand of hair across her face floated as she breathed. Her long hair was worn down, tangled and twisted as Ed searched her head. Seeped in her golden locks was a trace of crimson. He pushed his hand through her hair, feeling the sticky, warm liquid.

'Blood?' Edward thought, his stomach sinking to his toes. His face paled as he stared as it coated his fingers.

"What the hell?!" Ed grasped Winry's face between his hands, the rest of her sliding to the floor again. "Winry, wake up! WAKE UP!"

Winry's eyes remained shut, her mouth ajar.

"WAKE UP, DAMMIT! WAKE UP!"

Still, she didn't stir. Edward felt the pressure of emotion building up in his chest, making his lips quiver and his eyes water. He couldn't lose her. He couldn't. It was just too much to bear.

"Please," Ed whispered, tears overflowing as he pulled Winry close again; they dampened the hair against his face. "Please. God."

Edward believed in the Truth, and if that thing was truly God, then he believed in it. But that didn't mean Ed wanted anything to do with him. Taking Winry away from him, after everything, it made Ed desperately want to open that portal. Not to perform human transmutation, but to punch that bastard in the teeth. It was impossible, anyway. He could no longer perform alchemy, nor did he have much medical knowledge, either. He had no idea what to do.

Ed sunk deeper into Winry's neck, slumping forward.

"I need help."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 is mostly in Winry's POV

Quiet filled his home, showing no response to his plea. The silence was only broken when he couldn't hold back the sobs from inside his chest. The house was too empty, his broken breaths echoing out the kitchen and through the halls. With the setting sun, the light of twilight and the electric fixtures cast opposing shadows across the room. Leaving the room haunting and uncomfortable. Edward didn't know how long he'd knelt there like that.

Just as the light of the windows faded, Winry fidgeted in his arms. She hummed lightly with waking. It felt like the frozen air in his lungs had melted with relief. For a moment, it was completely bliss to breathe easy again.

"Winry?" Edward held her in his lap, brushing the hair from her face as if she were made of glass. Her blue eyes fluttered open. They seemed to wander around dazedly until settling on his face.

"Ed, you're home?" Winry blinked slowly, confusion evident on her face. "What's going on?"

That air just rushed out of him like a dam breaking. He heaved her up, squeezing her to his chest and burying his face in her neck. He didn't even try to stop the tears from falling down his face and running into her hair. A crushing weight seemed to lift from the house itself as Winry's voice shattered the cold silence within it.

Ed could feel himself shaking, the way you break down after adrenaline leaves the system, "I was so scared. I thought you were gone. Thank God. Thank God."

"I'm okay, Ed," Winry wrapped her arms about his waist, kneading circles into the cotton material of his shirt. "It's okay."

Relief filled him up as he held her as close as he could get shadows moved across the room as he got a hold of himself, breathing her in. Ed eased back, rubbing the moisture off his face. "What happened?"

Winry blinked blearily at the lights above her, feeling the chill seeping into her fingers as she pushed herself up. Edward kept his arm wrapped around her, letting her lean against the low shelves. Her head spun dramatically, leaving her stomach feeling less than pleasant.

Once she was settled, Edward got up and started rummaging in the kitchen. He yanked the drawers open, searching for something. Every time he closed them, the slam pounded through her skull, making her groan. Winry reached up and gingerly touched the bump on her crown, then pushed harder. (Maybe the pressure will ease the pain a bit?) It didn't. Fresh pain drove through her head, worse than it had been before. She sighed, letting her hand drop to her lap. The sight of sticky blood on her hand startled her.

"I'm bleeding?" Winry muttered in question.

"Yeah, you are," Ed said stiffly as he knelt in front of her again, pushing a damp cloth firmly to her wound. She winced, starting to cringe away just as Edward caught her face with his free hand. "How'd that happen?"

"Ow ow," She whimpered as she took in her surroundings. There were apples lying bruised and still on the pantry floor. A little off to where she sat was the toppled step ladder. "I guess I lost my balance while I was getting some apples. I must've hit my head on the shelf or something."

Edward's face was twisted with worry as he knelt in front of her, his hand resting against her cheek. She remembered that face distinctly, back in Briggs when she'd offered herself as Scar's false hostage. When Ed was powerless to come up with anything better.

"I'm fine, Ed," She encouraged, touching her fingers softly against his cheekbone. "It's really nothing."

Ed bowed his head, his controlled breathing audible and visible. She slid her hand to the back of his head as he moved his forehead to her collarbone, his hands fists against the floor. After a few moments Ed looked up again, his face resolute. He wrapped his arms under her legs and around her back, then lifter her up, "C'mon."

Winry pressed the cloth hard against her head as it spun outrageously. She gripped Ed's neck, leaning into him. Sighing partly out of pain and partly out happiness. It always made her strangely gleeful whenever Edward came home, it had since they were young. Most of the time, that had been short lived as he tended to only come home when his automail was broken. But when it was really just to be with her, she could think of nothing sweeter.

"By the way, welcome home," Winry smirked. "I was gonna make you an apple pie."

Ed grunted, his face set in a frown, "Next time, steer clear of ladders."

Winry patted his chest, "Moron."

"Do you want another head injury?"

"Drop me, I dare you."

Edward humphed as he set her down on the couch, sitting her up against the armrest. She settled into the cushions that seemed to swallow you alive, feeling like she was ready to sleep for a few days. Winry leaned her head back, rubbing circles into her temple as she pressed down with the cloth.

"Ugh, my head hurts," Winry groaned.

"You want some water?" Ed asked, standing over the couch.

Winry looked up at him with a smile, "That'd be great."

As Ed walked away, Winry felt her eyelids become heavy. Her body suddenly pleaded for sleep, and she let her eyes close. Not a moment later, Ed had zipped back into the room,

"Don't go to sleep! I'm gonna call Granny, and I'll be right back."

"Fine," She waved him off. "But you better hurry 'cause I can't make any promises."

He frowned, the disappeared around the corner. Winry slouched against the back of the couch. Of course she knew sleeping with a head injury was bad. With any patients of her parents' or Granny's, if it was a head injury she was put in charge of keeping them awake. Talking to them, distracting from the pain and need to slip into unconsciousness. She considered herself to have impeccable bedside manor skills.

From the other room, she could hear Edward talking briefly on the phone. His words were incomprehensible as he muttered into the phone. But it was nice to hear his voice. He'd only been gone a week, as he had been the week before. And it was hardly as long as he's ever been away, but it didn't seem to matter. She missed him all the same. She was happy he was doing what he loved, of course. Just the same, she loved what she was doing. But did they have to be so far away from each other to be happy in their careers? It didn't seem fair at all.

She wanted to shrug it off with what Ed would say, equivalent exchange or whatever. Sacrifice was necessary. But sudden anger flashed through her, her fists clenching. Screw that, Winry thought with venom. In growing up, she'd sacrificed one thing after another, gaining not much in return. Then there was Edward, as well as Alphonse. Their sacrifices dwarfed her own. They'd struggled so much and fought so hard to have a happy and peaceful life. So if the world did run on equivalent exchange, then she and Ed were entitled to a lifetime of nothing but joy together!

Ed's mismatched footsteps drew her out of her stupor as he thumped against the floorboards. Winry could almost hear the gears of her automail whirring and creaking with perfection. The brief anger she'd felt towards the universe drained away as Ed helped her sit up more, handing her the glass of water.

"Thanks," she said, sipping the liquid.

He nodded as he sat next to her, automatically wrapping his warm, right arm around her shoulders. Winry leaned into him, drinking her water slowly, "You okay?" Ed asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

Winry nodded against his shoulder, "Yeah, more or less. I do feel like sleeping for ten or so years, though."

Ed made an exasperated noise, then squeezed her shoulders a little. He rested his head

gingerly on top of hers. Winry could feel his soft breath against her hair. He didn't have to say

a word, but she knew what he was doing. It was something he did a lot, and probably would

for the rest of their lives. Edward cherished life, how very temporary and sacred it was. He'd

often just lay his ear against her chest, feeling her breath and heart. Then he'd ramble on and

on about alchemy, and how bringing the dead back to life was utterly impossible. Once the soul was gone, there is no way to bring it back. Their worth is priceless, he'd say. So no exchange would ever be enough.

To anyone else, topics of human transmutation and bringing the dead back to life was completely unromantic, and not suitable for pillow talk. But the way Edward spoke of it to her, so softly and with such reverence, it was the most romantic thing Ed ever did. And it was just the way he was. Every word in these tender conversations showed Winry just how much Edward valued her life, her soul. It was beyond moving.

Winry turned her head to look up at him, brushing her fingers against his cheek and through his bangs.

"What?" Ed asked.

She rolled her eyes, "Shut up."

Before he could respond, she leaned up and pressed her lips to his. His offended face melted off as he intertwined his hand in her hair. She caressed his neck, pulling him down closer to her. Even after however long they'd been together, before and after marriage, she still got butterflies fluttering around her in stomach at these intimate touches. And she knew Ed got them too. Winry could feel the heat of his blush against her skin.

Edward leaned her back against the armrest of the couch, trailing light kisses along her neck and up to her ear. Then caught her mouth again and kissed her deeply, sliding his hands from her face down to her shoulders. Holding her ever so close.

It would've been nice to just sit there and make out, but she was starting to feel uncomfortably lightheaded from the lack of air. Plus she could feel her brain pounding painfully against the inside of her skull. Winry let their lips parts, and grinned at Ed's tomato-red face.

She sighed and put her head underneath his chin again, settling into his arms. Edward hugged her securely, letting her lean more heavily against him. Winry yawned, that urge to sleep suddenly trying to overcome her again. He was just so warm.

"Hey, Ed?" Winry muttered around another yawn.

"Hmm?"

"I don't like being apart every week," She closed her eyes, nuzzling her nose into his shirt. "We should fix it."

Edward sighed, "Yeah, but I gotta be in Central. I've got my classes. And you've got your automail out here."

Winry eased back to look at his face, rubbing a hand over her eyes tiredly, "I've actually thought about this a lot. I know your job isn't mobile, you have to be in Central where your students are. But I can make automail pretty much anywhere."

Ed stared at her in dumbfounded surprise. She could almost hear the gears in his brain turning over the idea, looking at the different pros and cons.

"Are you serious?" Ed asked incredulously. "I don't want to force you to pick up and move your business."

She shrugged him off, "I love my customers, and I want to do everything I can to help them. But I didn't marry then, and I miss my husband. If they still want my work, then can have me

ship it to them from Central. That's what my people in Rush Valley do."

Ed nodded thoughtfully, "Okay, this is definitely something we should think over and discuss."

Winry snorted and proceeded to poke at his face, "Wow, you sound so grown up!"

He swatted her hand away, "I am grown up, dammit!"

She laughed, snuggling into him again, "I'm moving to Central whether you like it or not."

"I do. I like it," His arms tightened around her as he laid his cheek against her soft hair. "I love it."

"Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was much easier on the heart. I felt good to write after the trauma of the first part...

**Author's Note:**

> Why am I a sucker for cliff hangers? Anyway, I'll have the second chapter up soon. Either in a couple days, or next week. Depends on how patient I am...


End file.
